


Almost

by umaficwriter



Series: Crowen Playlist [14]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Almost DNCE Song, Baby Leo Cameo, Crowen, Crowen Is Sad, Crowen Playlist, Crowen Playlist Challange, Drama, F/M, Not A Happy Ending, Romance, Songfic, quarantine fic, spotify playlist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:08:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23933578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/umaficwriter/pseuds/umaficwriter
Summary: 14th on Crowen Playlist. What they had was almost perfect, and they would never have that again.
Series: Crowen Playlist [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1602304
Kudos: 5





	Almost

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Grey’s is not mine and thank God Shonda is coming back to write it again! 17th Season here we come! Also, the song belongs to DNCE.   
> Notes: It’s me again with another songfic, bc I just love to write them and while I was exercising in my house, thanks to quarantine, I listened to this song and was utterly inspired by it. Also, the lyrics are SO Crowen! Enjoy! Xx 
> 
> P.S: Listen to 'Crowen - Cristina Yang and Owen Hunt' playlist on Spotify

**_Some days I'll admit, I was difficult_ ** **_  
Everything that you did, I was critical_ **

The park was full of kids. And moms holding their kids, also dads.

And now he was one as well. 

Leo was asleep in his arms and Owen was staring at another child playing over the swing set. 

It was an Asian descendent kid.

That only made him thought about _their_ hypothetical kids.

Probably, they would all look like their mother. And not like the redhead little thing in his arms.

Unfortunately, he was too stupid to understand her. Sadly, he was too weak to chase after her and have the future his heart longed for him to have. With _only_ her. 

Owen never wished for anything more than for her to be _enough_. 

**_Your holding the car keys, I'm saying, "Don't tease me"_ ** **_  
If you're leaving, just leave me_ **

That’s why she’d left him. 

And that’s why he’d stayed.

He was happy for that choice, because aside from his second failed marriage, he had gained the most amazing of the presents: Leo. 

And Owen Hunt was very happy after becoming a dad.

He attended to library readings sessions for babies, when he could, he took his baby to play at the park near their house, he made healthy meals for the both of them… 

He was _happy_ now.

The pain of losing Cristina almost all gone. Except…

It _wasn’t_.

It’d come like calming waves sometimes, only knocking him off his balance a little. Also, could come late at night like a snowstorm, making him sleepless to guard his heart from freezing with hurt. 

If it was, he wouldn’t happen to see the little Asian girl playing from afar and nurse the children they never had. And never would. 

**_Baby, we were good, we were almost perfect_ ** **_  
I'd say it's your fault but you don't deserve it  
You won't get back what we had with no one  
Baby, we were good, it was almost worth it  
We were almost  
Almost, almost_ **

Some nights, mostly those first ones, a long time ago, Owen blamed her for his misery. 

He would think of her as _selfish_ for flying away from their story because of a prize. 

That was hurting and anger talking. Because deep inside, hangover free, he pitied his dispensable existence and the shadow of the man he once was beside her. 

She didn’t deserve a future trapped inside a _prison_ she never planned for herself. He knew her enough to know that she made her decisions and stood by them without blinking. 

It was only a shame that her decisions didn’t included him in them. 

**_So real, sometimes it was fictional, yeah_ ** **_  
So good, sometimes it was criminal  
So happy without me, or are you just acting?  
Either way is right_ **

Hot paper coffee cup in hand, Cristina sat on a park bench in Switzerland. Her home for five years now. 

The breeze sent her mane around in its direction and made her let go of her coffee to straight up her hair back to its original position. 

Staring at the spilled brew on the concrete ground, Cristina concluded that her life was like wasted coffee over the wind. 

She had a goal. She was _so_ close of printing a functional beating heart, she could feel it in her own. 

The wind had made her not winning the Harper Avery the first time, she had two years later, and brought her here. Burke was her coffee falling on the ground.

And he leaving the Hospital _for_ her, was the wind bringing the smell to her nostrils and making her feel the joy again, forgetting about everything else. 

It was fantasy. It was magic.

Just like her past.

Just like her talent. 

Like her life. 

Like her love.

Just perfect. Like the love of her life.

 _Almost_. 

Because, when her coffee spilled, all those years ago, she thought the love of her life was her craft. 

And now, that the wind was calming and comforting, the love of her life souvenired itself to Owen. 

It was almost criminal. After all, he was married now, right? 

She had stopped asking Meredith for data on him awhile ago. 

She wanted to know if he was okay and that was all. ‘Cause knowing about how happy he was with a woman that was not her was cruel.

And made her coffee cold. 

On the other side of the world, Owen saw her articles, he read her research, watched her speech on the Harper Avery award few tears back, and couldn’t help but notice that Shane was with her… Maybe they’re together? 

Owen didn’t have it in him to confirm that with Meredith. Because, first: He was married. And second: Meredith would tell Cristina, and he didn’t want her to know that he still thought about her.

It was _childish_. 

**_Baby, we were good, we were almost perfect_ ** **__  
I'd say it's your fault but you don't deserve it  
You won't get back what we had with ni one  
Baby, we were good, it…**

As Cristina laid in bed at night, the last thoughts on her mind were mostly related to her work, but in that slumber state, when you’re almost asleep, she thought about him. 

After the divorce with his second wife, and the adoption of his son, his last thoughts before sleeping were about the Hospital, groceries and house’ shores, but sometimes, his dreams would navigate through curly hair, chocolate eyes and sarcastic laughs.

Cristina’s dreams would be haunted by ocean consuming eyes, strawberry army-cut hair and heartily laughs, followed by long kisses in bed. 

Both would suffer in the morning. Hunted by ghosts that were just too scary to pursue. Feeling an empty space inside their chests. 

Owen once said that, since their marriage, they’d taken something beautiful and had put it in a box, destroying them thread by thread. They were coming apart in a terrible way and beyond repair. Cristina and Owen wanted different things and that wouldn’t change.

 _Hasn’t_ changed. 

In spite their best efforts, they were not flawless.

Their glass walls had cracks. 

They were _perfect_.

As individuals. 

Together, they were _almost_. 

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe that sucked, but you cant deny it was my sad ending style ae?


End file.
